Sally was called to the front of the class and our third grade teacher was very upset. It was very unusual for a nice girl and an A student to be in this situation. When I was in trouble and called to the head of the class, nobody paid it much attention and used this time wisely to cut the fool while I was stalling the teacher. Little Wayne Bailey would� use this time to make a note about the bad decision I had made and pass it on to my older sister so she could give it to my mom and I could catch a little more hell when I got home. I am going to save that story for later. Trust me. Every dog has his day - right Perci?
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Sally standing there in front of the teacher with those crooked glasses was a pitiful scene. All of a sudden the class got very quiet and you could have heard a flea cough. (I put that in for you, Perci).�
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�What have you got to say for yourself, Sally?� the teacher asked.
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Sally was in tears. �I am Sorry.�
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�Sorry, Sorry,� the teacher replied. �Go sit down Sally.� The teacher turned to the board and wrote the word SORRY and turned to the class and said, �Sorry is a negative response and it brings out the negativity in the person. If any of you are ever called up here for discipline Do Not Use The Word Sorry. Got �It?�
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Then she underlined it. When she underlined something it was serious business. You better take note of it .The teacher then explained that there are two types of people in the world. There are positive people and there are negative people. Negative people fall behind while positive people excel. We all should be positive and excel to our fullest potential. She then stepped over to her desk and picked up a pitcher of water and filled a glass she had in her other hand half full. She then asked us if the glass was half full or half empty. A pessimist is a negative person views this glass half empty while optimist a positive person views this glass half full.
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We as people should be more positive and try to excel and overcome negative thoughts. If everyone in the world were negative we would certainly be without a lot. Remember, positive optimist, negative pessimist. I do not want to hear I am Sorry the rest of the year. Have something creative to say.
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Lucky for Sally, whatever she had done to be at the head of the class was totally forgotten by now and she was off the hook so to speak. We were all happy for her.
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The weekend came and I was on the front porch with my Uncle Henry and Aunt Annie. They came over every weekend from Tallahassee to stay with my grandfather and grand mother.
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We were shelling peas from the garden when Aunt Annie asked me what I had learned in school that week, like she did every time I saw her. �I learned optimist, pessimist and the negative and positive response in people,� I replied.
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�Say what?� Uncle Henry asked.
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I said again, �optimist, pessimist and the negative and positive response in people. You can actually see people in a glass of water. I will show you.� I went to the kitchen and got a half glass of water and asked Aunt Annie and Uncle Henry what I had.
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Aunt Annie started to speak and Uncle Henry interrupted, �let me handle this, hun. I will give you a response.� He took the glass of water out of my hand, held it up and said, �You could of gotten some ice with this water; now that would have been a positive response.�
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He then drank the whole glass of water down except for that last little swallow he spit on the ground and said, �that optimist, pessimist thing it all sounds like hawg wash to me, can you remember that now? Let�s go back out to your daddy�s and pick another bucket of these peas.�
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Several weeks went by and me and a friend were plotting to hide Marydale Crampton�s book satchel so she would go into one of those little girl thingy fits after we put it back in that last place she had just looked. This kind of stuff will drive you crazy.
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I still do this kind of stuff today to make life interesting. When Sherry puts her night gown on the bed and then goes in the bathroom. I take it and put it back in the drawer. Try this sometimes and see if you get a negative, pessimist response. One time she knew I was in the mood to do something like this, so she laid her gown out on the bed and went on into the bathroom. I eased over to her side of the bed slipped my hand under her nice folded gown and felt something under there. I grabbed it firmly thinking it was a deodorant bar or something and eased over to her drawer�.then that mouse trap went off�.Sherry hollered from the bathroom �optimist, pessimist; want to pick a row of peas big boy��
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�Mr. Devane, would you approach my desk please,� the teacher asked. I walked up there real slow. �Bring your partner in crime with you.�
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Big Al eased on up there with me and the teacher asked �what�s your excuse?� Big Al was not going to say anything because he wanted me to be the spokesperson for this caper. He did whisper in my ear make it go away�fast. I knew What Big Al meant by that. The next time he could catch me alone or playing football I better not turn my back. Or like they say in the big league don�t get caught leaning. The teacher looked at me and asked again, �what�s your excuse young man?�
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Terrified, looking at the board you could still see the outline of the word SORRY that was still legible even after the board had been erased and washed several times. I looked at her desk and she said to me �think for a moment.� Big Al whispered in my ear �hell, this has got to be a drill right?�
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Optimist or pessimist - I reached across the teacher�s desk and said, �Allow me.� I took her big pitcher of water and poured half a glass, held it up and said �some ice could make this a real positive experience in which we all could excel.� Big Al finally said,��you know they have ice in the teachers lounge.� As he shook his head at the teacher with a positive smile on his face, I drank the glass of water like Uncle Henry had done. I spit a little on the floor the school bell rang and I exclaimed that�s HAWGWASH.
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Note to my mom from teacher:� pleasetake into consideration the influence that some family members may have on the stable development of your child and his well being and emotional state. Please schedule a parent teacher meeting and do not bring this Uncle Henry. Please try to do this before the next progress reporting period. I want to help your child.